Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
