I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
