people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize