Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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