I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
