Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
