take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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