That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
