just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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