just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this will be a night to untag.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize