i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he puts the penis in happiness.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I AM VODKA MAN
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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