So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
