he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
