it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
