everyone is single if you try hard enough
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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