..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize