You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize