id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Found your dick twin last night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
