what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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