I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
