why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
