I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize