I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
