i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
