Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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