Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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