Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i now understand why vodka
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
