Nicole vs. Life
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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