I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do herpes really smell.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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