the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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