In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
