he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
