I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
