11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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