The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
