grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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