Nicole vs. Life
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize