sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
