This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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