can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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