We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
