it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
