I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
