can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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