Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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