Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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