Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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