THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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