I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
