I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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