If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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