I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize