I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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