Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
