doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
