i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
