im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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