it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just pee around me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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